Three Minutes

It’s just all so absurd

Here is a brick, it will press your point
Here is some weed
Take a t-shirt, mix it with irony
Length of my mini in proportion to money

Get it? Get it?

Follow the leader
Share some misery
Inseminate the breeder
Your kid will make history
Cut, not too deep you’re a bleeder
Cover your tits it’s a holy mystery
Ultimately mindless monotony
Open up for god and prosperity

Don’t say it out loud you might scream
Don’t say it out loud you might scream
Don’t say it out loud you might scream

You’re all so fucking right, way to go
You’re all so fucking tight, I’m going to blow
Murder in 3D, all you want, huts more if you go slow
Worship the TV, man-gods tell you all that need to know
Put on a game skin, stare at the bright screen
Your ugly cannot be seen, are you ready for vicarious sin?

Right, you, pull the biggest gun out
Right, you, get a surgical trout pout
Right, assume character seven
Right, all little piggies go to heaven

Marry me baby, before it’s too late
Marry me baby, while I can still play straight
Its not a car, it’s a lifestyle thing
Its not the face in the avatar

Where once was a titan
A little man crawls to bed in sleepless despair

Reluctantly close down, retract back to four cramped walls
Sad not profound, don’t catch the mirror you might be appalled.
Even your dreams are built in pixels of war
The friends that you love so much see your text, they don’t reply

Do no harm.

Photo credit: Najuletenejšie nohavičky

Just hold me and look at me, with those I want you eyes
Just fuck me and enjoy me, promise I’ll try to do like wise

Don’t make me stay and open up, I’ll tell you things you’ll regret

I’ll drag my jagged heart across your veins
Gouge deep dark hollows in your brains
Profoundest madder gold spun harpies hair
Bitter seas of my wake will cut deep despair

Don’t show me warm or tender hands, death earned like cigarettes

Just let me do what I do best, it’s enough to give you tainted bliss
Just walk me in hand to the car, be happy that you can reminisce

A little rough stuff

She wasn’t mad about Rob, but something about him excited her, a perverse thing, something she’d avoided for several boyfriends, nice guys, all of them. Gentle lovers too, they treated her with all due respect, but vanilla is a plain flavour. Nice, something that goes well with other nice things, peaches, cherries, the kind of thing that the unremarkable will make do with, like court shoes for the church picnic, that skirt that stops just above the knee, where nothing should stop at all.

The thing was, Rob turned out that way too, the tatts, piercings, the heavy metal, Harley all that was, as it is for most men, to make up for what they hadn’t been, not the extension of what they are. Life had after an initial rush of excitement like when you buy a sexy pair of shoes online, turned to disappointment when they just, and he just, didn’t do it for her in the flesh.

Serina had grown out of that, she was far too lovely, far to adventurous and far too cheeky to stop, ever.

But Eric, who Rob worked with was different, not clean cut, gruff, stocky and dark, when things got boring with Rob, more and more often she found herself with him when she closed her eyes, she imagined him to be the kind of guy that too, not eased into, he’d tell rather than ask and that usually made the difference between just him getting off.

Walking home from uni between Nicholson, the block between that and her flat she’d often stop in at the garage and watch the men work, they owned a custom place where they would take beautiful old cars and turn them into the kind of thing that guys who never got girls like Serina thought would pull for them. Hot rods, chopped and dropped, over ornamented and over painted, they made a joke of the 1940’s-1970’s cars that actually had some style and design to them.

It made her smile arrogantly that these jerks saw themselves as rebels, wild, lawless macho icons where in reality – as always – it was the movies that told them what to think and they bought it up well into six figures sometimes when all it netted them was the same dateless despo who’d marry the first guy who looked at her. What a waste of lives, cars and dreams.

Eric had been working on an FB, as close to stock as you can find, it was a thing of beauty, restored to what it must have looked like when her grandparents where married, chrome and sensual curves, finned like a kind of metal bird, Eric’s lovely firm arse poking out from the front driver, side door, he seemed to be working on something under the steering column.

The radio was playing some god awful Phill Collins kind of shit as she prowled around the car, she ran her hand over the back left fin, then all the way up the side, not particularly taken but appreciative of the design, the seats though, beautiful two toned powdered teal and wren’s egg blue, she smirked at the unusually good taste Eric showed in picking colours, it was restrained unlike the purple flecked vomit with flames of the Chevy on the far side of the car, she stuck her head in the open passenger side and took a deep slow breath of new leather and working man.

Fuck that is son nice, she thought, and her heart came to life in her the veins of her neck.

“Where’s Rob?” She yelled causing Eric to hit his head on the metal steering column, she giggled.

“He’s in Sydney, you know that.”

“I do.” She grinned back at the startled man.

“So what do you want?” He asked, and seemed embarrassed by.

“I want a ride.” She said not moving her gaze.

Eric got to his feet and said in a matter of fact, but slightly firm tone, “It’s not ready.”

“I am.” She met his tone – block, punch.

“You’ve got a smart mouth girl,” He rested his arms, outstretched on the car roof, “It’ll get you in trouble.”

“I fucking hope so.”

“And a dirty one.”

“You’ve no idea.”

He smiled, like he might, and the pulse in her neck grew by a factor of ten.

Eric calmly picked up some tools out of the floor pan and carried them to the tool box, he picked up a cleanish microfibre cloth and wiped them purposefully, she watched him with predatory eyes, normally their hands would be shaking now, or they’d be self conscious, lose concentration, drop something, something that would disappoint her.

She stalked around the front of the FB, running her lightly lacquered fingers over the deep duco, it had that lovely impenetrable texture that fresh glass does, she tapped a clacky staccato as she glided around, to the front, where a large chrome bird of prey was fixed to the bonnet. She smiled at it, amused, a mascot she thought.

By the time Eric had finished cleaning she was over the front right side, she put her hips up against the front right fender and spread her arms out over the curvy bonnet, grabbing the chrome eagle, bending forward so her tight bubble butt would be the first thing he saw when he turned around, it was, and she held onto the thing as she pushed her hips into the car, the curve of it made her hot, and the thought of what he might be thinking.

She hoped he’d not pretend that he didn’t want her, but when she turned he made no effort to hide his interest in her bum, he walked right up and didn’t stop until his hips met the firm roundness of her butt, he pressed her to the fender and stood there, for a moment before he put his left hand on her and slowly moved his right up her back until he took her small shoulder in his big hands and squeezed her backwards into him. She could already feel his hard on between her cheeks, she pushed back on it, wetness slowly soaking her undies.

The wetness surprised her, she was so ready for this and wanted things to progress faster but he held her there and let her writhe against his rock hard cock, teasing her, not quite letting her get lower which would have been more rewarding for her, he clamped her shoulder and butt letting her feel helpless in his considerable grip.

He moved his right hand to her neck, wrapped it firmly there and lifted her backwards towards him, she moved slowly back, offering a small enough resistant force to say, I am letting you. Her hair moving like slow motion water, beautiful pale flawless skin glowing with a slight pink, when her back was a lazy inverse c their lips met, his free hand, the one that wasn’t demonstrating its power on her neck slid from her hips to her breasts.

The trip his left hand made there was a bumpy, sexy journey over the corrugated territory of her ribs, that left an impression on him, he could feel her breathe, for a man like Eric who could tune a 298 with his eyes closed, just by sound and vibration, it was intoxicating. Then there was her breasts, not huge but firm, sculptural, perfectly formed and more than a handful, usually a compromise on such a thin girl, not that Eric had ever had his hands on such a beauty.

She even tasted like something Eric had never been able to snare, fresh, yet delicious like stonefruit freshly picked from a tree, her wet lips made no struggle and her willing mouth took him and more, he’d never been so hard in his life, so much adrenaline and hormones pumped  through him that his he began to shake, in his grip though, she did no such thing.

Serina drew Eric’s tongue into her, her veins, her joints, her every pit needed to be filled, she gave up to her instincts and let her body do the work, sucking his wonderful manly saliva into her mouth, her pelvis throbbed with the need for him and she moved her hands back towards her so she could grind his cock with her arse.

Eric reached boiling point, releasing her only so he could pull off her shorts, but he fumbled with the button that wouldn’t let him pull them off her curly little butt, then when he did work it, they popped open, desperate he reached under them and in a pincer movement, he grabbed her knickers and shorts, shocked at her wetness and managed finally to expose enough of her, after they made it off her hips all Serina did was a small wiggle and they came free, she raised a leg and deftly dropped them.

He spun her, she grinned at the too far gone look on his face, she’d thought she might get some head but she’d played too hard and so she helped him unbuckle that stupid enamel belt of his. He lifted her with no effort, to the fender and she kicked off her shoes, bracing on either side of the wheel arch, his cock finally free and bouncing like an over stretched guitar chord, it looked angry and aggressive, so she leaned back further, on her hands as if to brace for an impact.

Eric was half hypnotised by how like a goddess she was half naked, slender, but curvy, she lacked any flaw, she moved with the sort of confidence and expectation that he’d never experienced before and when she shifted her hips towards him her head tilted back slightly it seemed like a challenge, he was hypnotised almost. She tasted like spring itself, fresh, powerful and willing.

Seeing him stunned, she decided to take matters in her own hands, again and pulled her t over her tits, “Fuck me Eric.” She said, it wasn’t a demand, or a beg, more a wake up call, this is what you do next.

As he stepped forward one of her arms came forward and took his waist, he went to rub her pussy to moisten it, but it was already hot and slick, amazingly so, she bought her hand around and guided his cock towards the small opening between her tidy lips. He took her in his arms and they clamped onto each other as the head of his cock slid forward over her clit and missing, he had to move his hips back, she flattened out the angel and whispered for him to go slow.

When she did guide it again it found the mark she massaged the head into herself, he did have just that tiny bit of self control. Serina made a little gasping sound as the huge head of his cock made it into her, that empty constricting feeling replaced with an uncomfortable, surprised stretching, it was more than she expected but that made things more exciting. Unable to hold back Eric pulled back slightly twice, but it was too much; he had to fuck her now.

He thrust into her, and she tightened her legs around him, her first few sounds where slightly pain than pleasure, but that didn’t last long, as he ground more than thrusted, tendrils of what would be orgasm spread from her joints, outwards, searching out nerves to wire up for the final fireworks.

Eric was mauling her, he trust his mouth to hers with epic want, he held the back of her head hard, but not hard enough, there was still something missing so she bent her hips back, making it difficult for him to continue a rhythm, then she would let him, by returning to the right position. He hardly made a sign that it mattered so she did the same with her mouth, not letting him have what he wanted.

Realising, at last, Eric worked out the little bitch was consciously trying to toy with him, but he wouldn’t have it. He tried to grapple her closer but she knew what she was doing and it became more frustrating, his cock throbbed at the disappointment.

She laughed and drew back, “Make me.” She said as she pulled herself so far back that he came out.

He grabbed the girl around her tiny waist and she wriggled, almost out of his grip so he flipped he around and pushed her legs apart with his knees, using his pelvis to hold her’s down,  He took her neck in one hand and her tits in another and pushed hard op into her, she squealed, but not in protest.

“Fuck me harder, properly, don’t hold back.”

For the first time in his life Eric fucked a girl like he wanted, hard, without thought for her comfort, just the way Serina had wanted and not been able to ever get out of Rob, she have looked delicate but the harder he fucked her the more she yelled yes! He let her neck go and grabbed the hair at the base of her head and he could actually feel her tighten around his diamond hard cock.

She let one hand go and slid it between her legs, not to rub like the stupid pornos show, but she clamped it over her clit, that’s all she needed to do, a little pressure, the animal fucking her did the rest. The charges that’d been set glowed like fire in her blood, pleasure and pain threw more and more fuel into her, she had the feeling that her skin was contracting so tight that if someone had pinched her she’d explode.

Eric let go of he hair and she shifted forward slightly, the fender providing just a slight enough change in angel to ignite the orgasm, he felt her tighten from her vagina outwards, moans turning louder, and it was too much, he’d wanted to hold off but he couldn’t and his cock went off , he rammed it as hard as he could into her and buried months of come hard up into her.

In a strange coincidence the lights in the building began to grow brighter, seemingly as an effect of her coming, but as he was too far gone he didn’t care, Eric, spent, drained of seed panting as the lights made a fizzling sound and went dark.

He pulled out of her and sat beside her on the fender, or slumped was more accurate, he felt like he’d come so hard that all of him was done. The only light was coming from the street light from outside, Eric walked over to the fusebox, pulling up his pants as he walked, weird, every single trip was set off.

He walked back to the FB, Serina was still naked, breathing deeply on her back with her legs hanging over the car’s fender, her hair leaving the impression of a goddess from some old painting on the bonnet, she really was something else, almost other worldly. Her eyes were closed but small trails of tears rolled down the side of face, a large smile, cat like sat dispelled some concern that he’d hurt her.

“Wow Serina, you’re something else.” He said as he went over, between her legs, leaning fully forward to kiss her forehead. He rested there, on his hands over her and she put her legs around him again, in a smooth, again distinctly cat like way. Without opening her eyes she wrapped her arms around him again and opened her mouth, eager it seemed to have as much of his tongue as he liked in her, most girls he’d kissed didn’t like that, but Serina did.

Her eyelids opened slowly and her eyes appeared to be black, almost like holes rather than orbs, “Oh I’m not like other girls Eric, I’m something entirely different, then she hugged Eric back, harder than any girl had before, so hard every bone in his back snapped, but by that stage she’d bitten off his tongue and chewed through his larynx so it wasn’t much of a scream more of a gurgle.


Photo Credit: Mia Farrow, by Diane Arbus

In truth I sank too fast, I see that now
But I say that as a woman, not a girl
Where is a child’s wisdom made if not in wrongs
Now I wash my hands in an inky sea

Barbarism begins at home I say
How wrong a man and woman can make
Are we all not error on trial then junkyard jets
Desperate rummaging through dirt for jewels

From Eden to Amarna the fools look
When all the answers lie with us not out
Voiceless stone and wood and paint and gilding
Only ever answer with what we want to hear

Tabula rasa

When the girl slept she died, left the bounds of the mundane world
She awoke in the field of blackened weeds deformed harvest of what was sown in her
Reap, reap, rape reaper, betwixt blue black bitter skies alive with death
Unable to sustain the lie of beauty she grew rapid and too terrible for mortal eyes

Her flawless flesh let go of Dorian’s daughter’s image and became what lies buried
The thing we feel inside the wary weathered thing surprisingly not mirrored back at us
Harrowed, hewn, heart hammered, homeless under our lives hard steel grey skies
Isn’t it almost slapstick how dollish beauty is made from the oil of dead natures mistakes

Selfishly bemoaning and self piteous these are bought without wages but made by them also
Aware or self deluded poor white girl your skin too young to pull knifish wounds inside out
Belial, black, brutal battered, born blood vomited spawn in any case damned
Though its easy again for others to think so given intelligence and beauty are skins

Fly unhindered then, through and about life, goddess outside monster within you
You should have listened you should have been that which is less to you and more to others
Mammon, molested, monster mothered, maid service womans’ wants wan withered
You are a raven beautiful to behold breathlessly terrible songs kept secret

Image: Todd Hido – Dazed

Betty and Rita and you and I

The thing that makes me laugh, bitterly of course, is the idea of communion, some higher form of soul to soul contact – as if there is such a thing, consciousness, its baser parts subdued by denial, a good meal and a shower, pressed linen and a half drunk glass of really ‘good’ Riesling, as if there is such a thing and there, there you can imagine angels or horns on anything.

This iron if you will, that takes the rags you just crawled through a dismally mundane day, washed with the toxically stylised farce of tradition, seeped in a artificially flavoured cleaner, hung out to dry in the light of the LED/LCD pulse of truth, such as its told to you, I and countless other copies of ourselves, it smooths out the whys, cannots, other doubts. That fearful thing we are, naked in the dark, we cover, this is thus, so it was, and ever shall be, forgive me if I gasp in doubt.

You play your role, I’ll play mine, somewhere, somehow you will stumble across someone in the same amount of confusion, with that ‘beatnik flair and punk-rock hair’, and you and he will lock eyes and my god the sparks will fly, they will ignite something real, you, you are different like that, charmed, your inner voice tells you – ‘there just gotta be someone – right?’

Pull, pluck, preen, starve, push, smile and imagine every pore exuding that Je ne sais quoi that makes you the ‘it’, finally all of this will be worth it, it’ll all fall into place, there is ample proof of this is everything ever told to you by nothing in your actual life but on that flickering screen, the one that pulses at the exact rate your mind works.

Oh happy accident.

You look out from the inner city chic pad that cost you what everyone says is the best of your young, nubile, oh so pretty recently departed teens. You do a great breakfast at tiffany’s – well if you dyed your hair and lived in that black and white or technicolour world that you can’t quite seem to find the door to, no matter what you sell or get paid. This, is this that obscure object of desire, or was that a film?

So, here, perched on this tripod with two legs, looking out on this pretty city with a hard on, I’m wondering, where? Why? Is this it, should I be – be what? Have I not moved every stone in my path you wonder, though I’d have quipped – Sucked a lot of cock to get here, which you’d deny but to me it’s degrees, a bees dick here and the skin of a tooth there. Yet here we are, looking at the same thing, through different façades, in various states of the agony and ecstasy, sure call it divine if you want to, lets see how you fare after a weeks worth of barefoot in the car park.

I know you’d rather die, we all would but we do it anyway, those who actually do, but fine, paint your eyes black and tell people you’re wounded by the world without ever having had it tit punch you, I make you as sick as you make me. Why don’t we play that game where we spend everything we whored ourselves for on things to hurt each other with?

I did the legit thing, the real thing, I’m an OG in this, you can call yourself one but I’ll sneer, like you sneer that I’m sneering because – god how do you do that? Id rather die. Hey, where we not here two minutes ago? See, that’s called snow blind, even though I’ve never been in a blizzard.

What we are friends now? I know what you said to her and him and its like far less that what I said about you, but lets pretend.

Then suddenly I expect I’ll be lying on a bed with a ping that’s fading on a screen next to me, and even here, you and I will look at the same thing and not agree. If it wasn’t so fucking funny such a joke I’d cough with the toxins built up in one twenty-four year death rattle.

But then, most of the time I just except it, I look into your eyes and I can almost smell what you are going to tell me, what’s been drummed into you. It started when you where weak, someone died and so this was the band aid, now its a cocoon, after so many years of – ‘don’t think about it’ – you think you are going to shed it one day and butterfly your arse out of here. I’d love to believe that, but I let the punches land, here’s what I learned, the way to last the distance, is not to try and resist, its to learn that it will hurt, just remember that. Don’t go promising yourself things that are, when you really admit it, too much.

Got that? Good, guard up, resume medicating.

Chem is doing my head in…

Aluminium zirconium tetrachlorohydrex gly
I spray it on to get a guy
sodium chloride and Poly Sodium glutamate
Bloody dubious ablates
hexamethylenediamine msds
Carpet fiber under duress
Chemistry, Chemistry bloody hard
Thanks for making me seem a blonde retard.

Sulphurous anhydride
A rotting corpse did you ate?
Tetra Hydro Cannabinol
Is you know you look like a quoll
(2-Aminoethyl)-3-(4-chlorophenyl)-3-hydroxyphthalimidine Hydrochloride ( Mazindol Metabolite)
I’ve a headache so not tonight.
Chemistry, Chemistry I’d rather not
quadra penta hexa hepta octa – shit! That’s polygons – I umm forgot.